


Sometimes I forget how to breathe

by LonelySunflower



Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Addictions, Drugs, Enemies to Lovers, Kinda, M/M, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:33:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27165281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LonelySunflower/pseuds/LonelySunflower
Summary: Sander is drowning in his sadnessHe only sees one light in this aching darknessthis mystery light
Relationships: Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28





	Sometimes I forget how to breathe

**Author's Note:**

> I bet no one expected me to come back this soon...  
> But yeah here I am with this, it's short but it's only the first chapter  
> I hope you'll enjoy it💗  
> I'll upload a new chapter as soon as I can  
> be careful while reading this please I'm always worried that some of you don't read the tags

Sander, this perfect guy who had always seemed to have the best life, the best friends, the best parents, the guy who seemed to be living in a fairytale. Was he really happy? Were the people surrounding him as perfect as they seemed to be?

He couldn’t quite tell if they were the best thing that had ever happened to him or if they were the worst.

Because throughout the years, Sander has closed himself up from the world. His real soul trapped inside with all his demons.

He couldn’t cry, he couldn’t fail. He could not even give up. Who would love him if he gave up?

Who would love someone like him?

Someone that drowns in alcohol in secret. Fearing the judgement of every eye he has ever met.

Did people know his secrets?

Did people know that he wanted it to end? But who would he be to let it all behind like all his efforts to hold on meant nothing?

Was he still here though, the Sander that only Sander himself knew, was he still here?

He was trapped. Trapped in this world, trapped in his mind, trapped.

Was there an escape? Any kind of escape?

The only one he has found is alcohol but he doesn’t know if it really makes the pain go away. Because every day, every time he wakes up, he can feel the guilt rising in his throat.

So, is it worth it to continue?

He asks himself this same question every day.

He wakes up. _Is it worth it to continue?_

He sleeps

Starts another day. _Is it worth it to keep going?_

_Monday_

He does wake up with this same question in his head. Haunting him. He sighs, once. Trying to ignore the voice that speaks, that screams in his head.

She won’t stop.

As he does every morning, he gets up to get ready.

It’s a new year at school and let’s do it. He has to pretend that everything is okay in front of the entire school, he has to put this mask on. Not that he doesn’t like people not knowing how he’s feeling, he loves the fact that his health only concerns him but he hates the fact that everyone wants his life. He doesn’t get it, why do people dream about having what he has when they don’t even know who he is?

There are so many questions.

But what he doesn’t know is that he acts like this himself.

Maybe he does idealize someone after all.

There’s this boy that he has always wanted to get to know but he never made the first step and the other boy doesn’t seem to be interested in him. It’s probably the kind of person who doesn’t like idols, Sander loves this about him. He doesn’t look at him with those big eyes that are filled with fantasy, it’s as though he doesn’t even notice him. What a pleasure to feel invisible.

Sander has always been known to be a person he really isn’t, he’d rather be ignored then liked for a lie. But you have no power over people’s opinion of you. So, you just have to deal with it on your own.

And Sander’s tired of having to deal with it. He really is.

**Author's Note:**

> So? How are we feeling?  
> Who is this guy that Sander likes though👀  
> We don't know anything about him dnzjbabdzj  
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated  
> Love you❤take care


End file.
